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Five Easy Steps to Achieve Work/Life Balance

August 1, 2004 was a very significant day for me. It was the day I became an official business owner and took over our new business. That same month, my husband and I found out we were expecting our first child. And seven “short” years later, our second child came along in August of 2011. As a business owner and a mom, It has been and continues to be a quite a ride.

Autonomy was the biggest reason I decided to become a business owner. I wanted to be there for my kids when they needed me—at the bus stop, at school concerts, play dates, sick days, or anything else that required my attention during work hours.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the amount of energy (and stress) that business ownership required. In the first few years, I struggled with guilt that I should be spending more time with my family. However, I later encountered something quite unexpected—I actually enjoyed working and wanted to come to work.

You see, I always believed that I would be a full-time mom. Career was never that important to me. And so I was in a quandary. I already felt that I worked more than I wanted to, but I enjoyed my work. In my quest to reconcile this dilemma and find a work/life balance, I again discovered something unexpected: work/life balance doesn’t exist. It’s a myth. Just like there is no “five easy steps” to anything, there is no such thing as work/life balance. 

Like all truth does, this truth set me free. When I stopped berating myself for not holding to some preconceived notion of balance in my work and my family/personal life, not only did my business flourish, but our family dynamics improved as did my overall sense of satisfaction and happiness.

Don’t get me wrong. There were and continue to be many challenges, frustrations and even failures. But who needs the extra baggage of “this isn’t how my life SHOULD be” thinking? As a good friend once told me, stop “should-ing” all over yourself and enjoy the life you have.

Instead of five easy steps, let me share with you five truths to shatter the work/life balance myth:

  1. Trust yourself that you will make the right decision with the information you have right now. Do what you can with the resources/money/time you have now. Don’t wait for perfect clarity, don’t wait for the right moment.
  2. Stop overthinking things and making 1000 “what if” scenarios. Acknowledge, you will fail in some things (and refer to any one of the thousands of motivational quotes you see on social media about failure).
  3. Your character and your life are shaped in the journey, not when you reach your destination. Let go of unrealistic expectations. Refer to #1 and make course corrections as needed.
  4. Don’t use #3 as an excuse to not plan, not set goals,  or make bad choices. People who set goals (even small goals) and strive to reach their goals are happier and more content people. 
  5. Have the courage to make difficult decisions and tough changes when required. Sometimes it’s small changes like waking up an hour early every day to exercise or meditate. Or big things like changing careers or where you live. With any change, there is a period of discomfort and even pain. But once you make the change, you’re usually better off. Ask yourself, do you prefer endless slow suffering or a short period of intense suffering that you know will end?

Like unicorns and rainbows, work/life balance sounds fun and happy, but it’s elusive because you will rarely reach it. Have you ever tried to get close to a rainbow? It just goes POOF!

The next time you’ve got fifty things competing for your attention, take a minute and focus. If at work, focus on work. If with your family, focus on them. You’ll never balance the fifty, but you will balance the one that you’ve chosen to focus on.

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How Big Is Your Wrist Watch?

When researching and writing my book, Five Ways Your Design is Sabotaging Your Sales, I rediscovered how extremely vulnerable people are to being influenced by visual stimuli.

For example, when something looks nice, people assume it also works well.

Apple has gorgeous design. But there are other phones, laptops, and computers that work just as well or better in terms of functionality. Nonetheless, Apple is perceived to be the market leader in innovation and technology. (In reality, they’re #2 behind Microsoft).

As another example, tall men are regarded as being smarter or stronger than short men. Slap a giant, expensive watch on their wrist and they are perceived to be successful and powerful too. Seriously.

If a $10,000 wristwatch is not in your budget, consider this:

As a professional, your prospects and potential clients haven’t a clue about the actual quality of your service. Those things are unmeasurable and indeterminable by the average person.

If you have written books, have a good newsletter, a good website and regularly connect with your prospects, then you are miles ahead of your competitors.

If not, then your potential clients will get their cues elsewhere. Usually, it’s perceived by how your marketing looks. Their decisions about how competent and successful you are will be based on how you present yourself.

At my company, Zine, we firmly believe your marketing should look like you know what you’re doing. If it looks haphazard and sloppy or just average, then your services will be perceived as haphazard, sloppy, or average.

Investing in your image will give your prospects the confidence to invest in you as well.

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When Ugly Gets All The Chicks

There is this phenomena in direct marketing called “the ugly postcard.”

In test after test, when a plain, “un-designed” postcard was tested against a slick, shiny postcard, the ugly postcard out-performed the shiny one hands-down.

I bet you’re saying, “Yeah! Explain that, Miss Fancy Pants Designer!”

Well, maybe you’re not saying that. But I’ll explain anyway.

Did you read the post about giant wristwatches? Aesthetics (visual appearance) is not so much about how beautiful something is. It’s about the response that is elicited. (You might want to read that sentence again).

A lowbrow design has power equal to a high-end design in influencing perception.

That means an ugly design can elicit responses such as “easy to work with,” “affordable,” or “honest.” Or it could be part of your brand (like Craigslist’s look). Or it could just be that it stands out from all the shiny, “smart-looking” marketing competing for attention.  

So what’s an aspiring entrepreneur to do? Ugly or slick?

First, don’t go all ugly on yourself unless that is part of your message and your brand.

This concept is more powerful in direct marketing efforts, but much harder to pull off as a brand message.

If you’re sending a postcard or a sales letter, try a plain, undesigned look and see what kind of results you get.

Good marketing hinges on testing. So be bold and try different things.

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Burnout: Conclusion

I’m overwhelmed by how many people reached out in response to my article series about Burnout. Some shared they’re going through a similar phase. Some have been inspired to refocus their priorities. One reader was surprised that I would share such personal stuff.

It just goes to show that despite all the fun, exciting, and perfect lives we see on social media, everyone struggles with life. Everyone.

I’ve often said the entrepreneurial experience (and just life in general) is like this: fail, fail, SUCCESS, fail, fail, fail, SUCCESS, fail, SUCC.., oh wait, no…fail…

Successful people are successful not because they rarely fail (they fail often!). They are successful because they don’t stay down.

More than that, the high of success only carries us so far.  Unless we have a deeper, more meaningful purpose behind the day-to-day of our work, picking ourselves back up and shaking off the dust becomes harder and harder.

In his book, Start With Why, Simon Sinek describes the difference between being successful and feeling successful. That difference lies in the connection between what you do versus why you do it.

In other words, making money, climbing the ladder, and having all the stuff of success for the sake of success can leave you feeling miserable and empty inside.

Even if you’re just working to make ends meet every month, without a bigger vision you will hit the same wall.

Burnout and disillusionment are inevitable when you don’t have a bigger purpose behind all of your efforts and achievements.

In my last post, I asked you to ponder this question:

If you could be free from the day-to-day of the work that you are currently doing (and there was zero loss of quality in your work, relationships, and finances), what would you do with your time?

Here is how I answered it:

1 Inspire and be a positive influence in the life of everyone I come in contact with.

How would I accomplish this NOW?

Through coaching/consulting with current clients.

Through church ministry.

Through volunteering at kids’ school.

Through focused time with my family.

Through media [newsletter, blogging, video, email].

Through a successful business that supports employees, clients, and vendors who believe in our purpose.

The answer to that question should’ve helped you uncover your value goals. Here are other important value/life goals I uncovered, which require a financial engine (i.e. a source of income):

2 Buy a second home

3 Keep my kids in private school

4 Freedom and autonomy in how I spend my time

I was surprised to discover that I didn’t need to change much to accomplish my first value goal. What I needed was to focus and plan better.

For the other value goals, I saw how money was just a tool, and not a goal. It can make it easier to meet our value goals, but not impossible if there is very little of it. What is more important is purpose, discipline, and focus. Without those, you’ll still run into burnout, no matter how much money you have.

Answering these questions and consulting with people I trust and respect helped me to define the purpose behind the madness and routine of daily life, and breathe new life into my work.

Discovering your purpose, your big why is an effort worth undertaking. While you’re still in the thick of New Year “Resolution-ing” and fresh starts, revisit your goals and see if you can uncover what drives you to do what you do. What is your purpose? What do you stand for? And how is your work or your company a platform for your purpose?

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Political No-Rant Zone

I’m sure many of you are glad the election season is behind us. I certainly don’t miss the wild rhetoric and non-stop news coverage.   

But as a marketing professional I find myself pondering the marketing, and noticed a very significant principle that I talk about in a previous post.

Trump’s campaign nailed it. Hillary’s campaign missed it.

In Simon Sinek’s book, Start With Why, he makes a case that strong, prosperous companies have a bigger purpose for what they do. And
it is never just about their profits or their own growth. It’s about something bigger, ethereal, and transformative.

For example, Apple’s why is to think different and challenge the status quo. They just happen to make computers. On the other hand, Tevo, a company that created an extraordinary, high-quality gadget for improving your TV experience, has a why that fell flat: convenience and low price. Not very inspiring. And not surprisingly, they hardly prospered.

What was Trump’s why? It’s in his slogan: Make America Great Again. It wasn’t about him. It was about something bigger and transformative.

What about Hillary? Her slogan was: I’m With Her. What does that communicate about her big why, her purpose, her focus? If she had a bigger purpose, it wasn’t communicated well.

I’m not interested in arguing political platforms and rhetoric. I’m making an observation that illustrates an important principle and serves as another reminder to ponder your reason for doing what you do.

Your what (your actions, products, services) serves as proof of your why. But if people don’t know or don’t believe in your why, your what becomes meaningless, a commodity.

So why does your business exist? To make a profit or provide great service is uninspiring and unremarkable.

What greater purpose do you embody?  And how can people be inspired and believe in it so much that they give you their trust, loyalty, engagement,
and ultimately, their money?

People are naturally inclined towards self-preservation and self-interest. But can you think beyond that for a moment?

Sinek says it like this: “People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it. And what you do simply proves what you believe.”

Your big why is often revealed in your story. If you can incorporate your story in your marketing message, your why will emerge, and you will attract more people more powerfully and more effectively than the traditional benefit/cost/value marketing strategies.